Everyone has disappointments in life. Usually one just gets over them in time. Sometimes it is not so easy. The challenge comes. Can disappointments become a springboard for something better in our lives?  I mean a maturing,  learning to remain calm when facing  emotionally upsetting situations.

There are many situations that can be frightening and uncertain.  We live in difficult days, The voices of other people can affect us more than we realize. So often for me, it was the disappointment in people, my expectation that they would behave in a certain way, or understand what I was going through.  Each person’s perspective is their own. But it is this very thing that is the answer.  Look differently at a disappointment. People may not have a clue that we are expecting something of them and hence not respond, or will not anyway for their own reasons.

Overcoming a disappointment is not the responsibility of someone else, whom we may want to blame. If they had not done such and such, then I would not have (self justification)…..That kind of thinking gets us no where. It took me a long time to wake up and realize it was just hurting me. Yes, it is human to want to vent our frustrations, even the hurt in our disappointment. Let’s find a kinder, better way.

It is not about perfection, as that simply does not exist. Sometimes It is a jolt to realize  that others do not care about the things I do, and vise versa. Sometimes I am disappointed with myself.  It is important to let that go because everyone makes mistakes. I find it helpful to focus on something lovely instead.  Will this really matter in five years, even a year?  Let go of ruffled feelings. Choose that deliberately.   I had to do it again yesterday.  Time and distance help many adults cope.

What if a child gets upset and lacks the maturity to deliberately choose a different way of handling disappointments, even exploding into a tantrum of tears and screams?   I recently read that asking the child a few simple Math questions (2 + 2; 4 +4 ) will switch their mind into a different level and help them calm down. Brilliant,  I thought to myself. Think I will try it myself to calm emotions.

If possible bless the person who upset you or find a way to create a blessing out of a situation.  Letting go of stressful thoughts is key,  because the battle of life is in the mind.

Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is kind and worthy of praise, think on those things.  Philippians 4:8